“Whisper Jesus!”

Sheep by Gayle Polinsky - Holmdel Park, NJ
Sheep peeking out at Holmdel Park, NJ by Gayle Polinsky

It was 3:00 a.m. on Saturday, September 11, 1971, in California, when  I was laying in a sleeping bag on the floor in the home of my brother’s soon to be Mother-in-law – because the house had become filled with out-of-town guests to celebrate their Wedding Day!  When I heard a man’s voice calling my name through the darkness.  It was a loud, strong, commanding voice – that not only startled me, but also, terrified me, especially, as I heard my name being called for a second time. “Brenda!”  By this time my heart was pounding and my mind was racing – as I lay frozen in place because I simply could not move – with fear holding every part of me –  as I tried to think of why this was happening, and I thought that I must have tripped on acid way too long! So I closed my eyes and tried to will myself back to sleep – when I heard the voice calling my name again for the third time. “Brenda!”   Then complete silence…

When this happened I slowly opened my eyes and saw two bare feet standing before me – and tied around His right big toe was a gauze bandage.  And because I was still laying on my stomach I could not see His face,  but was able to see that He was wearing a white robe that touched the top of His feet that was trimmed in gold – with a long sash that almost touched the floor, which also,  was trimmed in gold.  And like a child, I closed my eyes hoping He would be go away, when suddenly the lights went on as certain guests had been woken up to be with me in the living room.  As I shared my story,  because by this time I was weeping – as the presence of our Heavenly Father was overwhelming and  literally filled the room.  Yes, Jesus, my Shepherd; had called me by name three times as He reached out to me within my darkness and touched my heart with His love.

Many times, when I am speaking, I have chosen not to tell this story because people do not believe that God, through Jesus Christ, can touch our lives intimately and personally, and especially, supernaturally.  As it goes contrary to what we believe to be real.  So many times when I would share my story I would be asked,  “Why would Jesus have a bandage around His big toe? I must have been mistaken as He is God – it must have been an Angel.”  So I began to doubt.    Years later as I searched the Word of God I found in the book of 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 – which says that we are all intricate parts of the Body of Jesus Christ – as He is the head!  And verse 26 states:  “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it, and if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it!”  And yes! I was not only hurting but confused and very lost!   But when I raised my hands towards the Heavens on September 11, 1971 – at that very moment – the Holy Spirit came into me, and through me, from the top of my head right right through to the tips of my toes –  and amazingly – He also touched the life I was carrying within me – as I was four months pregnant with my second child – a Son – but I was also still embedded within the Hippie lifestyle actively partaking in all its deadly trimmings.

And when I look back and think about our beginnings…the good, the bad, and the ugly…and when I read God’s Word where my hope is securely found –  I realize that I cannot go back and change the damage of the past but I have learned that in the Hebrew language – that the very same word that is used for the past is also used for the future – as our Heavenly Father takes ‘both’ and weaves them together so that we are able to see with new eyes.  Even when we fall short and make serious mistakes and unwise decisions – He promises to take all things to ultimately use them for our good! As He is the God of the impossible – as all things are possible with Him!  And I know that one day we will all see with His eyes the beauty and tapestry of our lives – which have been intricately and perfectly woven together – in partnership with our Heavenly Father’s heart – who deeply loves us!

And yes!  Every year when September 11th arrives, and even more so since so many lives were lost and deep pain caused throughout our precious Country, by an evil act of hatred and terrorism perpetrated towards America on this same date.  I am always brought back to this precious time – remembering – the intimate time shared with our Shepherd, who is always reaching out to us, as He lays His Staff by our side to guide us over the rough places in our lives…and Yes!  Who calls each of us by name…

“Who turned to me and heard my cry, as He drew me up out of a horrible pit and set my feet upon a rock; steadying my footsteps and establishing my path.  And then He put a new song in my mouth – a song of praise to our God – so that many will see with great reverence and will learn to trust confidently in our Lord!”  (Psalms 40:1-3)

From my heart…

And on a side bar…deep within my heart I have always wished that I had been courageous enough to have reached out to touched the hem of His Garment…

1 Samuel 3:2-10

*Writing  from the “Stained Glass Window” still in process by Brenda Storm

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