My eldest Son called to wish me a happy birthday, and also, asked me to speak on his behalf at his Wedding Reception in November, as his Fiance’s Dad would be speaking on her behalf! Immediately fear hit the pit of my stomach as l calmly said, “Yes! I would be honored to speak!” As Wayne and l had just returned home after hearing an amazing teaching at our Church, New Life Elgin – on courage and fear – as we looked into the life of King David the Psalmist! Reminding us that courage builds a legacy, but fear tears it down and opens the door to brokenness. And through the name of Jesus – we receive inner strength to do the right thing in spite of the fear we may feel. As fear will often call us to exit the “waiting room” through the door of compromise!” Huge enlightenment! As we are asked to not only remember, but also, to believe that our Heavenly Father is never late, and is always on time; as His way and His will for our lives is always worth waiting for – over whatever fears and doubts have sadly crept into our minds…trying to hold us captive.
Also, the “fear of losing control” will cause us to assume rolls which were never intended for us to take – and when fear and pride come together – which is a very dangerous combination – it leads us to no longer trust our Heavenly Father for the outcome. Which stops us from obeying and believing in “His timing” to bring our lives to the destiny He has carefully designed just for us. Sadly, we forget that our Heavenly Father is Sovereign! Yes! A heart lacking courage will tend to rationalize disobedience. Believing: “l saw,” l thought,” “l felt,” and “l did it!” As the Holy Spirit will gratefully take our temptations and turn them into a conversations with God! Because decisions made out of the “fear of man” rather than trusting our Heavenly Father, will ultimately, destroy our destiny and take away our courage to wait!
So as l sat pondering about what to share in relation to my Son’s character, through the eyes of a Mother’s heart – while searching through a lifetime of precious memories which have been treasured within my heart. I prayed that I will find words to encourage him as he walks hand-in-hand with his precious Bride into a Life Commitment. I realize that this very teaching I just heard was fine-tuned just for me…as what came immediately into my mind when he asked me to speak was “fear of man!” With feelings of uncontrolled panic taking over my mind, as l thought, “What can l possibly share when speaking on his behalf – as I immediately started to question my adequacy to be able to bring honor to my Son and his Bride. And if this wasn’t enough to bring fear – remembering that l would also be speaking in front of my family and friends – many for the very first time in public – even after all these years of walking with my Heavenly Father – and with my Shepherd!
And then l heard the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me of when l spoke at a precious friend and Sister’s funeral of her Dad – who I had only met once in Intensive Care. To a gathering of total strangers seated together in honor of her Dad and Family. l asked the question, “Have you found your shoes yet?” Shoes that are specifically designed by our Heavenly Father for each one of us! Yes! As Prodigals, who our Father is always watching and waiting for; and when He sees us from afar – He runs and gathers us up into His arms rejoicing that we have returned to Him. He then kisses us with the love of a Father for His Children – while placing a robe of Righteousness around us to keep us warm, and places a Ring of Relationship on our Finger to remind us that we are an intricate member of His family – forever! And then He kneels down and places shoes on our feet – specifically designed shoes for us alone to wear, enabling us to walk on the path, no matter what the terrain; towards our destiny and His will for our lives…here on earth – into Eternity! Takes my breath away just writing this…
And Yes! I felt fear trembling within me – but chose to place my trust in my Heavenly Father – through His courage and strength – to humbly become His Messenger – for a “time such as this!” With the privilege to honor my Son and his Bride – to bring God’s precious Light into their presence with the fragrance and Love of Jesus – while thanking and praising our Heavenly Father for allowing me to bring Glory to His Name above all else! And am so deeply grateful, that as we read the story of King David, to know and believe that in “all of our circumstances,” as God’s chosen people, a Royal Priesthood, we are also called to step out and up – “courageously” – remembering that we too come from humble beginnings, chosen to walk with our Shepherd, who calls us by Name; with a servants heart towards Almighty God…our Heavenly Father! Imperfect – Yes! Blessed – Absolutely! As He uses our weaknesses to demonstrate His strength through us – and is preparing something spectacular – no matter what stage of the journey we are on…It’s a Promise!
From my heart…
Journal Entry – October 9th
1st Samuel 13:7-15; Numbers 6:24-26; Joshua 1; 1st Peter 2:9-10